I’m sure there are about a hundred of these lists, but what do you do when you have a hundred of something? Make it a hundred-and-one! If Cruella de Vil taught us anything….
That being said, I had an experience with my kiddos the other day that really got me thinking, “I didn’t expect this.” And thus this list has been born. Here you go:
10 Things that Surprise You When You Become a Parent
1. Poop in the bathtub
My own, personal, worst nightmare. It’s not SO bad when they’re tiny, infants. They’re already in the sink. You just rinse them off. Not the worst. But then they get older. You suspect you’re done with all that foolishness and then it happens. The horror.
2. Re-Living Bill Cosby’s “Himself” routine
Except you’re a lot less funny and a lot more frustrated. Come here. Come here. Here! HERE! HERE!!
3. Freaking out about stupid stuff
OH MY GOODNESS SHE JUST ROLLED OVER! GET THE CAMERA! TAKE A VIDEO!! I think if I had seen myself back when I was single and had no children, I might have thought that I had lost my mind and was living in an asylum.
4. Freaking out about stupid stuff
OH MY GOODNESS! YOU UNROLLED THE ENTIRE ROLL OF TOILET PAPER AND TEEPEED THE BATHROOM?!? YOU ALSO EMPTIED OUT ALL OF THE SOAP?!? FILLED THE SINK TIL IT’S OVERFLOWING AND ARE PLAYING IN THE TOILET?!?!?! WHYYYYYYYYY?????. Sometimes now I think I’m living in an insane asylum.
5. Losing it if someone even acts like they’ll mess with your kid.
I used to be judgy about helicopter parents. I mean, let your kid grow up. Let them fight their own battles. Yeah, no. Not anymore. Now, it takes every effort for me to not become a raving, slobbering, straight-from-the-pit, mama bear if some other kid starts being rude to my kid on the playground. He’s my baby. I dont care that he’s actually biugger than the other kid. He’s my baby!!
6. All the amazing vacations you get to take – also known as Guilt Trips.
Oh, you only feed your kids organic, unprocessed, food farmed from a family you know in the french alps? …Yeah… Me too…. Yes! We are having another baby….uh, yes, we know where they come from….. Really? You’ve never given Little Johnny an antibiotic? Sugar? or Let him watch TV? ….Me neither…….
7. Being creepy about your friends having kids.
C’mon, everyone’s doing it! Our kids need playmates! Who cares you’ve only been married 5 minutes. HAVE SOME BABIES! Yikes. In hindsight, I have been a reproductive creeper more than once. To those of you who have suffered at my lack of boundaries. I apologize. I’m working on it.
8. A new-found love and appreciation for Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and Pinterest.
All my mommy friends be like, “You’re on Facebook at 2:30am? Me too! Let’s talk about how much we are ready for our kids to sleep through the night.” Honestly, it’s the only safe place you can find all your other friends in the middle of the night and you get to hang out and catch up.
9. WANTING to stay home with the little boogers.
This is a big one for me. I really wasn’t sure about the whole stay-at-home-mom bit. I just didn’t think I would like it and that I would go crazy. But it’s kinda like coffee. It’s weird at first. Kinda hard to adjust to, but now if someone were to try and take away my stay-at-home gig, I would get all kinds of crazy on they butts. (that’s right. they butts.)
10. WANTING to have more.
Another weird one. People asked my hubby and I how many kiddos we wanted to have and I was honestly like, “let’s just see how the first one goes.” But after having 3 in under 4 years, I still would love to have more. I realized the other day that my love for my kids doesn’t just increase with each new baby, my love for them multiplies. Since we’ve had Peaches, I see the special-ness of each of my boys even more and love them even more than I did before. That’s usually when they annihilate the bathroom or dig up the plumbing in the backyard. Gotta keep things balanced…
So, obviously there are about a hundred more things that surprise us when we become parents. So you know what that means! Let’s make it a-hundred-and-one!
The Laughing Platypus 