It’s all fun and games, until someone takes off their pants….
Everyone knows you’re not supposed to leave your kids in the car. Everyone knows it. BUT let’s just be real here. If you are going into a tiny store (like a walgreens, dollar general, family dollar, etc.) to get ONE thing for TWO minutes, you might go ahead and leave the miniature demolition crew in the car.
This is the position I was in yesterday when I planned to bring the hubs a drink home from the store. If I had half a brain, I would have bought him one at the store, but, seeing that I have 3 kids and my brain has been reduced to about 1/4 of its original performance state, I did not. So, due to a train sending me on a detour, I ended up at a Dollar General near my house.
This will only take a second. I’ll crack the windows. Run in. Run out.
And off I went. It helped I knew I would see the kids from the store windows. The parking lot was surprisingly empty and I got a great spot.
The surprise of the empty parking lot quickly dissipated when I walked through the automatic doors only to be smacked in the face by a horrifically familiar odor: poop.
I then quickly noticed a woman with a stroller and heard a woman near her yell, “Jerry! Put your pants on! Let’s go!”
Oh Lord, some child has had an accident in here! Great. Just get the Coke and get out!
I grabbed the hubs his soda and one for me also. Hey, it had my name on it. I couldn’t resist!
(Shakes fist at Coke marketing department)
I hurriedly moved to check out. I glanced outside and saw my kids, happy in the car. *smile* The ladies with the small children were walking quickly to their car.
Poor woman. I would be horrified if my kid had an accident in the dollar general I hope she bought herself some chocolate…
I then turned my head toward the checkout counter and there he was. A 40-something man, standing much too close to me, precariously holding up his pants.
“Jerry! Pull yo’ pants up, and go home!”
What the what?!
Yes. The woman yelling was not the mother of a small child. It was the cashier. Two of the other employees stood off to the side covering their noses as they guarded some thing I dared not investigate.
The little man scuttled over behind the cash register, but he was no longer holding his pants. To my horror, they were down around his ankles.
What the what?!?!?
“Jerry! Get away from that stuff. You know you ain’t gonna buy nothin’.” She looks at me and looks at her friends, “I’m fixin’ ta call the police. You know we can’t be dealin’ with this. ”
Please check me out. Please check me out. Please check me out.
She carried on for another few seconds and then, I think she must have noticed the look of desperation on my face. She stopped her sentence abruptly and checked me out. I took my receipt and almost left the two sodas I went in to purchase.
As I retreated and was relieved by the fresh scent of city air, I unlocked the car and found my boys chatting away. The baby was asleep. Everyone was happy. I wasn’t sure if the poor man was drunk, high or mentally ill, but I was glad to be back with my little clan poopers and pant-droppers.
It’s crazy what can happen in two minutes, and sometimes, you’re glad you left the kids in the car.