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Just wanted to post something…

It’s been a hard couple of weeks. I’ve really hated not writing and now that I have a little time to do it, my brain just can’t be funny.

Bummer.

Eh, so here are some funny things on the internet.

I love fat, gray kitty.

The 33 Best Chandler Bing One-Liners

Friends!

Photo

No! Never!!

I love buzzfeed.

Meme-ly MEMES!

Laughed so much

Classic.

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10 Things that Surprise You When You Become a Parent

surprise

I’m sure there are about a hundred of these lists, but what do you do when you have a hundred of something? Make it a hundred-and-one! If Cruella de Vil taught us anything….

That being said, I had an experience with my kiddos the other day that really got me thinking, “I didn’t expect this.” And thus this list has been born. Here you go:

10 Things that Surprise You When You Become a Parent

1. Poop in the bathtub

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/10/15/i-love-lucy-anniversary-2013_n_4098323.html

My own, personal, worst nightmare. It’s not SO bad when they’re tiny, infants. They’re already in the sink. You just rinse them off. Not the worst. But then they get older. You suspect you’re done with all that foolishness and then it happens. The horror. 

2. Re-Living Bill Cosby’s “Himself” routine 

facepalm-4

Except you’re a lot less funny and a lot more frustrated. Come here. Come here. Here! HERE! HERE!!

3. Freaking out about stupid stuff

Elf-Freak-Out

 

OH MY GOODNESS SHE JUST ROLLED OVER! GET THE CAMERA! TAKE A VIDEO!! I think if I had seen myself back when I was single and had no children, I might have thought that I had lost my mind and was living in an asylum. 

4. Freaking out about stupid stuff

bad freak out

 

OH MY GOODNESS! YOU UNROLLED THE ENTIRE ROLL OF TOILET PAPER AND TEEPEED THE BATHROOM?!? YOU ALSO EMPTIED OUT ALL OF THE SOAP?!? FILLED THE SINK TIL IT’S OVERFLOWING AND ARE PLAYING IN THE TOILET?!?!?! WHYYYYYYYYY?????. Sometimes now I think I’m living in an insane asylum. 

5. Losing it if someone even acts like they’ll mess with your kid.

bear

I used to be judgy about helicopter parents. I mean, let your kid grow up. Let them fight their own battles. Yeah, no. Not anymore. Now, it takes every effort for me to not become a raving, slobbering, straight-from-the-pit, mama bear if some other kid starts being rude to my kid on the playground. He’s my baby. I dont care that he’s actually biugger than the other kid. He’s my baby!!

6. All the amazing vacations you get to take – also known as Guilt Trips. 

wrong

Oh, you only feed your kids organic, unprocessed, food farmed from a family you know in the french alps? …Yeah… Me too…. Yes! We are having another baby….uh, yes, we know where they come from….. Really? You’ve never given Little Johnny an antibiotic? Sugar? or Let him watch TV?  ….Me neither…….

7. Being creepy about your friends having kids.

amy polher

C’mon, everyone’s doing it! Our kids need playmates! Who cares you’ve only been married 5 minutes. HAVE SOME BABIES! Yikes. In hindsight, I have been a reproductive creeper more than once. To those of you who have suffered at my lack of boundaries. I apologize. I’m working on it. 

8. A new-found love and appreciation for Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and Pinterest. 

friends-end-of-an-era-o

All my mommy friends be like, “You’re on Facebook at 2:30am? Me too! Let’s talk about how much we are ready for our kids to sleep through the night.” Honestly, it’s the only safe place you can find all your other friends in the middle of the night and you get to hang out and catch up. 

9. WANTING to stay home with the little boogers. 

coffeeivgilmoregirls

This is a big one for me. I really wasn’t sure about the whole stay-at-home-mom bit. I just didn’t think I would like it and that I would go crazy. But it’s kinda like coffee. It’s weird at first. Kinda hard to adjust to, but now if someone were to try and take away my stay-at-home gig, I would get all kinds of crazy on they butts. (that’s right. they butts.) 

10. WANTING to have more. 

angel high five

Another weird one. People asked my hubby and I how many kiddos we wanted to have and I was honestly like, “let’s just see how the first one goes.” But after having 3 in under 4 years, I still would love to have more. I realized the other day that my love for my kids doesn’t just increase with each new baby, my love for them multiplies. Since we’ve had Peaches, I see the special-ness of each of my boys even more and love them even more than I did before. That’s usually when they annihilate the bathroom or dig up the plumbing in the backyard. Gotta keep things balanced…

So, obviously there are about a hundred more things that surprise us when we become parents. So you know what that means! Let’s make it a-hundred-and-one!

What has surprised you since you’ve become a parent?

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From the Primordial Goo of the Internet…

In the swirling, bubbling, burping grayness of interweb, little groups of thoughts and ideas start to cling to one another, gasping for a breath of life. Some thoughts foam up from the murky depths only to be choked by the stifling gas of ads and spam, crushed and curmudgeoned by neanderthalic trolls or they simply effervesce back into the miry nothingness of the internet. Then in the distance, it begins again. Little ideas coming together, churning, pushing and pulling and popping, coming to a rolling boil! Huzzah! Life! it’s happening!

Here it comes… It’s emerging…. It’s alive! It’s alive! It’s…

A platypus? …Hmmm..

This is unexpected.

Evolution of a Blog

The decision to develop and write a blog happened in 2011. I actually started two blogs at that time. One to journal about some of my family adventures, antics and amusements. The other blog was more foodie in nature. Riveting. I know. However, both of those blogs had all of….mmmmmm, one entry. But, let me tell you! It was epic. 

Not really. 

Yet, here I am. Ideas, thoughts and opinions swirling around in my brain and the desire for an outlet to express (and the vain aspiration to develop some sort of readership…Yes, you should feel pressured.). However, what to blog about? And thus, this blog begins as all great things do…. with an identity crisis. 

The Mommy-Foodie-Jesus-Philosophy-Extrospective-Poetry Blog

The reality is that any blog worth reading is about something. It’s about pictures of someone’s dinner. It’s about cats. It’s about politics (heaven, help us). I have not seen a successful Seinfeld-ian approach to blogging yet, and blogs that are about everything feel like blogs that are about nothing. Thus, the identify crisis. 

I could write a mommy blog! I mean, I am a mommy…Some mommy blogs are amazing. I think to myself, “Dang! Girlfriend has got it together.” You know what my kids did today? They ate. They went to the bathroom. They played cars. They ate. They fought. AND, my favorite, they played in the mud. And then they ate. I’m sorry, but that is a full day. We don’t have time for great-artists-of-the-world collages, or learning Japanese, or organic, made-from-scratch goldfish crackers.  It ain’t gonna happen, and neither is a mommy blog. 

I could write a foodie blog. How awesome would this be? Pictures of my incredible culinary creations, that are, obviously, from scratch, and, duh! organic. Oh! And don’t forget that they would be sustainably sourced, no sugar, dairy-free, elegantly presented (with the light just-so) little plates of heaven…. Good grief, I’m exhausted just writing that sentence. Let’s just leave my foodie aspirations to my pinterest page, shall we?

I could write about being a Christian. Me, Jesus and The Church, out to save the world! ….Something about that feels like a trap, though. I can just sense Pride, Status and Heresy whispering, “Yeah! A blog about Christianity…And Culture…And deep theological issues…You should do it…You’ll be like Matt Walsh!” >insert me running and screaming the opposite direction<  Honestly, I am already afraid that someone is going to read this paragraph and be deeply hurt, offended or enraged by what I’ve said. But… But… But…I really, really want to engage with people on a deep spiritual level. Ah, yes, there it is. People. Not the internet. So, for now, I will leave the grand-canyon spiritual discussions to in-person encounters. 

The Aha! Moment

As I considered all these things over the past several weeks, there were several things that happened in the world that brought a dark cloud over my outlook on life. The Ebola outbreak was happening. Isis was (and is, I think), brutally murdering Christians, their children and others. Robin Williams committed suicide. The list goes on. In my family’s personal life there were also struggles spiritually, financially, and relationally that just made me feel like darkness was all around, and in spite of my faith, pushing in, closer and closer. 

I was sitting in the office working on a project, when I started looking at Facebook – the great motivator. A friend posted a video of a Robin Williams performance, and it was hilarious. I watched it twice. It was exactly what I needed.

And that’s when it hit me: laughter. There is something deeply profound about laughter. The world is dark. It’s bleak. There are times when I look out at what is happening in the world-at-large and the world around me, and the evil seems so huge and all the good seems so tiny in comparison. But. “I know whom I have believed and I am convinced that He is able to guard what I have entrusted to Him until that day.” <—Jesus, yo.  

This verse really says it best:

“I have set the Lord always before me; because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices; my flesh also dwells secure. For you will not abandon my soul to Sheol, or let your holy one see corruption. You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.” Psalm 16:8-11.

My heart is glad. I know my God will not abandon me. He shows me the way to go. 

In-spite of the darkness, my heart is glad. 

That’s what I want. I want to make my heart glad and maybe, yours too. This blog is here to, Lord willing and the creek don’t rise, bring delight. Make you smile. EVEN BETTER, make you laugh. 

That is what’s great about a platypus. How can you not laugh?

lifesciences-platypus

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