We’ve all done it. At some point in a day we have all had a moment of realization that we should have retreated to bed 3 hours ago. Instead, we took our bad day and made it more awesome…. awful. I mean awful. But, in case you are having a bad day and can’t imagine how to make it more aw(ful)esome, then here are some helpful hints to get you started!
1. Pick a fight with your spouse.
This is pretty obvious. So simple. So easy. You’re already grumpy. So, it’s the perfect time to tell the hubs the ten things he’s been doing lately that really get on your stinkin’ nerves. Stinkin’ nerves!
2. Pick a fight with your kids.
If not one, than the other. Right? Or both! Nothing says “Best Bad Day Ever!” than yelling at the offspring.
3. Go to Krispy Kreme.
Don’t get me wrong. I love Krispy Kreme just as much as the next good person with a soul, BUT going there on a bad day is just makes it worse. Not only will your hips pay for the two dozen circles of melty sugar you just stress-ate, but you will also get to enjoy the awesome self-loathing stomach ache that corresponds with binge eating. 10 pounds + a heaping dose of “I-hate-myself” = Whole Notha Level of bad day.
4. Buy that Gucci handbag, you deserve it!
Shopping is a special kind of bad day enhancement. It ultimately fuels #1 and #3, but it also hits you in the groin of your happiness – the checking account. Plus! For some reason, this particular vice manifests itself in the completely unncessary – except you don’t realize it until after you walk out of the store. A solid gold bust of Chewy, Han, Luke and Leia? I totes need that!!
5. (Intentionally) Break something.
But it feels so good! Yes, perhaps it does, but you know it will only leave you madder than you were before, because now you have a bad day AND a broken plate from your mother’s china (oh, and yes, it’s discontinued). However, if you are going for totally Aw(ful)esome day, then by all means….
6. Post a vague, melancholy status update on Facebook.
The temptation is almost too great, isn’t it? You’ll get all this sympathy and know that people care about you. ….BUT, then you’ll be annoyed that you have to explain everything to everyone for the next six weeks because they didn’t see your follow up status on their newsfeed and REALLY, why didn’t anyone call? And what’s up with getting 6 likes??? Why are people liking my terrible day. Unfriend. <—Bad day, biggie sized.
7. Read/watch the news
Another duh. If I really want to wallow in all the awfulness of a day, all I have to do is check out the latest horror in the world and I suddenly am not sure if anyone will ever have a good day again.
8. Give up.
This is the ultimate, the pinnacle of bad day dead ends. If you really want your bad day to win. REALLY WIN. Then give up. Check out. Look your day in the eye and say, “Whatevs, I’m out.” – take your ball and go home.
Truth? Don’t do it. Don’t do any of it. “Know that wisdom is such to your soul; if you find it, there will be a future, and your hope will not be cut off.” (proverbs 24:14)
Take your bad day. Stand it up. Dust it off and look at it. Look at it real hard. (Bad days hate this. They always lose a staring contest.) Once you’ve looked that booger square in the face for a minute, you size it up for what it really is: small. Your life – you – are so much bigger than your bad day. Psh. Just shake it off.