Tag Archives: cats

Why You Should Be Friends with Fred

Let’s face it. When most people here the word, “philosophy” their eyes glaze over and they check out, or they run screaming in the other direction. Kudos to you for even reading this far!

BUT, when some people hear the word, their eyes light up, the sit up straighter and they are armed to the hilt with Nietzsche quotes and jokes about Schrodinger’s cat.

http://weknowmemes.com/2014/07/schrodingers-cat-walks-into-a-bar/

Poor kitty ūüė¶

It really feels like people are in one camp or the other.

Camp 1: Philosophy is useless and annoying and really just allows for more college graduates to be poor and homeless.

homeless philisobes

 

Camp 2: Philosophy makes me superior to you. All hail me!

smart

 

I can honestly see where the person in the Camp 1 is coming from. Even the word sounds pretentious. Philosphy. It’s so full of itself I can hardly stand it.¬†

Don’t you agree? Alright, so let’s enable each¬†other to discuss philosophy without cringing every time it’s written/read. Instead, let’s rename philosphy….Not Phil. Still too close…. How’s about Fred? Fred. Great.

I would like to propose to you that Fred is not as useless as he appears, but he is actually the buddy you’ve always wanted. ¬†So, I’ve made a list. Here is my list of why you and I should all love Fred, hang out with Fred and STOP using Fred as an excuse to be a jerk to others.

1. Fred understands.

One of my favorite things about Fred is that he looks across the aisle and doesn’t see an idiot, he sees a person, doing what makes sense to them. Fred’s whole job is to understand why what one person does makes sense to them. There’s no judgment. There’s no name calling. Just Fred, trying to understand. Thanks Fred.

 

2. Fred is not a tool.

Even though a person might turn into one when they hang out with Fred. Fred, himself, is not a tool. I think it’s easy to get annoyed here, because Fred will sometimes confuse us, but that happens to everyone he hangs out with! He may ask a lot of questions and want to make you think and talk¬†forever,¬†but, as mentioned before, he is really just trying to understand you and maybe help you find others like you.

3. Fred is funny.

funny-philosophy-pictures1

I think one of the biggest misconceptions about Fred is that he’s too serious. I mean who really likes talking about existence, death, meaning, reality and such? Well, maybe some people don’t¬†like¬†to think about those things, but everyone does! The least you can do is have fun with it. Fred will tell you stories that will make you laugh out loud. Schrodinger’s cat (especially if you dislike cats), typewritters and monkey’s, just to name a couple, all while helping you connect the dots on life’s big questions. Which leads me to…

4. Fred is helpful.

help me obi wan

Trying to make a big decision about your job? Where you live? What to wear?? Fred can help. In some ways he knows you better than you know yourself and can help you “know-thyself” better.

5. Fred is honest.

Save the best for last, of course. Like any good friend, Fred won’t let you get away with dishonesty. You can choose a perspective or value system that you like, but you have to be true to it’s end. He’s not going to let you say one thing and then act like you believe something else. He’ll call you out on it. He will let you know. Don’t worry. Fred isn’t ever offended by your ideas. He just wants you to be honest about them. What’s a friend worth if he won’t be honest with you?

Hopefully, you agree with me now that Fred is really a great ally and a person you’d like to get to know. I like to think that Fred reminds me that people are people with brains in there head. “They are living out ideas that make sense to them. Find out what they are. Learn. Grow.” That’s what Fred will tell you, and if you happen upon someone who wants to use Fred as a weapon or a pump to their ego, don’t blame Fred.

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A Battle with Jabba the Cat at 4am

I really love our cat. She is a sweet little thing… And by little, I mean, enormously huge.

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No. Really. She is FAT.

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Poor thing. She’s acquired the name Jabba the Cat because she frequently lays down like this:

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Hey! Don’t look at me like that! Girlfriend got fat from binge eating at the neighbors. When she was young, she liked to howl at night and, thus, her fanny was placed outside. It wasn’t an attention thing or a I-need-something thing. I just think its her thing. Most cats have a “thing.” ¬†All the cat owners know what I’m talkin’ about.

Howling is her thing.

This is unfortunate for her, because any parent will tell you that there are certain times of the day/night when no one better breathe heavy, much less make actual noise. Violating quiet hours comes with severe punishment.

Don’t get me wrong. My kids actually sleep really well with noise happening – Mostly because Tex and Bear are boys…

but there are certain times that noise will cut my break time short: the hour or so before they normally wake up in the morning, twenty or thirty minutes before nap time should end or 4am for some reason…

4am… At 4am not too many nights ago, my normally friendly feline, decided she no longer wanted to live.

She started howling.

Sometimes I can call her to our room and she’ll quiet down….. Nope. No luck.

Then the baby started crying.

Sometimes I will feed Jabba¬†if she wakes me up, but Peaches was crying and I couldn’t afford to let her carry on and possibly wake the boys.

I started feeding my sweet girl, settled in for a nice snuggle with her when….

Howl?

….

HOWL!!

She’s getting closer and I hear Bear stir around in his bed.

Internally: AHHHHHHHHH! Shut it you doofy cat!!!

Snuggle over.

With baby in my arms I >gingerly< charged down the hall; attempting not to stir Peaches too much (I had all intention of putting her back in her bed promptly after feeding her), and chased the little Jabba back to the living room.

As an aside, it is hilarious to watch a really fat cat run. I mean, really. It’s like watching an accordian scurry¬†away from you.

Once we were in the living room, the beast just looks at me like,

Why you so mad??

I petted the beast with my foot and sat on the sofa to finish feeding Peaches. I took her back to her bed and, thankfully, she went back to sleep. However, I hadn’t been in her room for more than a few seconds when….

HOOoOoOooOOooOOWLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!

The baby stirred. The boys whimpered.

The cat would die.

I ran back after her. She saw me in the hall and darted for the kitchen.

HOWL! HOWL! HOWL!!!

She then promptly laid down on the ground, on her back no less, as if to say,

Perhaps if I play dead the crazy person won’t kill me.

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But I’m no dummy.

Once I caught up to her, I put my hands on her mouth to silence her. She complied and I waited and I listened.

Silence.

More silence.

Good. Everyone was still asleep. I took a tremendously deep breath to try and restrain myself and then ofcourse she looks at my like,

Why you so mad???

And all I can do is scratch her gobby fat belly. I fed the little wretch and headed back to bed.

As I laid there trying to calm myself enough to go back to sleep, Buttons (her actual name), creeps into our room very quietly, jumps up on our bed, and curls up in the crook of my leg.

And, I think I am going crazy, because I can hear her….

Jabba the Cat

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