Tag Archives: food

How to Make a Bad Day Worse

you are awesome meme

We’ve all done it. At some point in a day we have all had a moment of realization that we should have retreated to bed 3 hours ago. Instead, we took our bad day and made it more awesome…. awful. I mean awful. But, in case you are having a bad day and can’t imagine how to make it more aw(ful)esome, then here are some helpful hints to get you started!

1. Pick a fight with your spouse.

funny-manly-man-fight-meme

This is pretty obvious. So simple. So easy. You’re already grumpy. So, it’s the perfect time to tell the hubs the ten things he’s been doing lately that really get on your stinkin’ nerves. Stinkin’ nerves!

2. Pick a fight with your kids.

come-on-dude

If not one, than the other. Right? Or both! Nothing says “Best Bad Day Ever!” than yelling at the offspring.

3. Go to Krispy Kreme.

krispy kreme

Don’t get me wrong. I love Krispy Kreme just as much as the next good person with a soul, BUT going there on a bad day is just makes it worse. Not only will your hips pay for the two dozen circles of melty sugar you just stress-ate, but you will also get to enjoy the awesome self-loathing stomach ache that corresponds with binge eating. 10 pounds + a heaping dose of “I-hate-myself” = Whole Notha Level of bad day.

4. Buy that Gucci handbag, you deserve it!

all-the-things-meme-2

Shopping is a special kind of bad day enhancement. It ultimately fuels #1 and #3, but it also hits you in the groin of your happiness – the checking account. Plus! For some reason, this particular vice manifests itself in the completely unncessary – except you don’t realize it until after you walk out of the store. A solid gold bust of Chewy, Han, Luke and Leia? I totes need that!!

5. (Intentionally) Break something.

broken

But it feels so good! Yes, perhaps it does, but you know it will only leave you madder than you were before, because now you have a bad day AND a broken plate from your mother’s china (oh, and yes, it’s discontinued). However, if you are going for totally Aw(ful)esome day, then by all means….

6. Post a vague, melancholy status update on Facebook.

facebook fail

The temptation is almost too great, isn’t it? You’ll get all this sympathy and know that people care about you. ….BUT, then you’ll be annoyed that you have to explain everything to everyone for the next six weeks because they didn’t see your follow up status on their newsfeed and REALLY, why didn’t anyone call? And what’s up with getting 6 likes??? Why are people liking my terrible day. Unfriend. <—Bad day, biggie sized.

7. Read/watch the news

news

Another duh. If I really want to wallow in all the awfulness of a day, all I have to do is check out the latest horror in the world and I suddenly am not sure if anyone will ever have a good day again.

8. Give up.

giveup

This is the ultimate, the pinnacle of bad day dead ends. If you really want your bad day to win. REALLY WIN. Then give up. Check out. Look your day in the eye and say, “Whatevs, I’m out.” – take your ball and go home.

Truth? Don’t do it. Don’t do any of it. “Know that wisdom is such to your soul; if you find it, there will be a future, and your hope will not be cut off.” (proverbs 24:14)

Take your bad day. Stand it up. Dust it off and look at it. Look at it real hard. (Bad days hate this. They always lose a staring contest.) Once you’ve looked that booger square in the face for a minute, you size it up for what it really is: small. Your life – you – are so much bigger than your bad day. Psh. Just shake it off.

shake it off

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , ,

From the Primordial Goo of the Internet…

In the swirling, bubbling, burping grayness of interweb, little groups of thoughts and ideas start to cling to one another, gasping for a breath of life. Some thoughts foam up from the murky depths only to be choked by the stifling gas of ads and spam, crushed and curmudgeoned by neanderthalic trolls or they simply effervesce back into the miry nothingness of the internet. Then in the distance, it begins again. Little ideas coming together, churning, pushing and pulling and popping, coming to a rolling boil! Huzzah! Life! it’s happening!

Here it comes… It’s emerging…. It’s alive! It’s alive! It’s…

A platypus? …Hmmm..

This is unexpected.

Evolution of a Blog

The decision to develop and write a blog happened in 2011. I actually started two blogs at that time. One to journal about some of my family adventures, antics and amusements. The other blog was more foodie in nature. Riveting. I know. However, both of those blogs had all of….mmmmmm, one entry. But, let me tell you! It was epic. 

Not really. 

Yet, here I am. Ideas, thoughts and opinions swirling around in my brain and the desire for an outlet to express (and the vain aspiration to develop some sort of readership…Yes, you should feel pressured.). However, what to blog about? And thus, this blog begins as all great things do…. with an identity crisis. 

The Mommy-Foodie-Jesus-Philosophy-Extrospective-Poetry Blog

The reality is that any blog worth reading is about something. It’s about pictures of someone’s dinner. It’s about cats. It’s about politics (heaven, help us). I have not seen a successful Seinfeld-ian approach to blogging yet, and blogs that are about everything feel like blogs that are about nothing. Thus, the identify crisis. 

I could write a mommy blog! I mean, I am a mommy…Some mommy blogs are amazing. I think to myself, “Dang! Girlfriend has got it together.” You know what my kids did today? They ate. They went to the bathroom. They played cars. They ate. They fought. AND, my favorite, they played in the mud. And then they ate. I’m sorry, but that is a full day. We don’t have time for great-artists-of-the-world collages, or learning Japanese, or organic, made-from-scratch goldfish crackers.  It ain’t gonna happen, and neither is a mommy blog. 

I could write a foodie blog. How awesome would this be? Pictures of my incredible culinary creations, that are, obviously, from scratch, and, duh! organic. Oh! And don’t forget that they would be sustainably sourced, no sugar, dairy-free, elegantly presented (with the light just-so) little plates of heaven…. Good grief, I’m exhausted just writing that sentence. Let’s just leave my foodie aspirations to my pinterest page, shall we?

I could write about being a Christian. Me, Jesus and The Church, out to save the world! ….Something about that feels like a trap, though. I can just sense Pride, Status and Heresy whispering, “Yeah! A blog about Christianity…And Culture…And deep theological issues…You should do it…You’ll be like Matt Walsh!” >insert me running and screaming the opposite direction<  Honestly, I am already afraid that someone is going to read this paragraph and be deeply hurt, offended or enraged by what I’ve said. But… But… But…I really, really want to engage with people on a deep spiritual level. Ah, yes, there it is. People. Not the internet. So, for now, I will leave the grand-canyon spiritual discussions to in-person encounters. 

The Aha! Moment

As I considered all these things over the past several weeks, there were several things that happened in the world that brought a dark cloud over my outlook on life. The Ebola outbreak was happening. Isis was (and is, I think), brutally murdering Christians, their children and others. Robin Williams committed suicide. The list goes on. In my family’s personal life there were also struggles spiritually, financially, and relationally that just made me feel like darkness was all around, and in spite of my faith, pushing in, closer and closer. 

I was sitting in the office working on a project, when I started looking at Facebook – the great motivator. A friend posted a video of a Robin Williams performance, and it was hilarious. I watched it twice. It was exactly what I needed.

And that’s when it hit me: laughter. There is something deeply profound about laughter. The world is dark. It’s bleak. There are times when I look out at what is happening in the world-at-large and the world around me, and the evil seems so huge and all the good seems so tiny in comparison. But. “I know whom I have believed and I am convinced that He is able to guard what I have entrusted to Him until that day.” <—Jesus, yo.  

This verse really says it best:

“I have set the Lord always before me; because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices; my flesh also dwells secure. For you will not abandon my soul to Sheol, or let your holy one see corruption. You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.” Psalm 16:8-11.

My heart is glad. I know my God will not abandon me. He shows me the way to go. 

In-spite of the darkness, my heart is glad. 

That’s what I want. I want to make my heart glad and maybe, yours too. This blog is here to, Lord willing and the creek don’t rise, bring delight. Make you smile. EVEN BETTER, make you laugh. 

That is what’s great about a platypus. How can you not laugh?

lifesciences-platypus

Tagged , , , , , , , , ,